The Self Care Spectrum

I’ve been thinking a lot recently about how to help people understand my work. For a long time I have tried to avoid self care as a term I use to describe how I help women to show up for themselves, because I never felt it encapsulated what I offer…..yet it’s a term that everyone can instantly relate to, right?

I think the main problem with the term ‘self care’ is that it has become associated with things that are highly superficial. Taking a bubble bath, having a nap, treating yourself to a hair appointment…. But what really even is this?!

It’s self care ideas being delivered in the most surface level, societally acceptable and neatly packageable message and it’s leaving women feeling like something is still missing. Because they’ve been led to believe they can meet their deep, underlying needs with some plaster solutions.

Don’t get me wrong - I am a big lover of both baths AND naps! But I’m fully aware of what they are: momentary relief, perhaps a chance to reset, a breather. A tiny little top up in one’s metaphorical cup. But absolutely nothing to do with meeting, relieving or solving any real needs that sit beneath the skin.

I’ve sat with the disconnect for a while and I feel it’s really important to start sharing a stronger message. Because quite frankly, the current one is literally gaslighting women into thinking their problems are going to be solved with a few time outs. And I’m tired of being given yet another thing ‘to do’ that wont give me more than a moments pleasure.

I’m craving a deeper alchemy and I know so many of you are too.

And so I want to start sharing the message about the truth of self care. We need to stop seeing it as a few occasional acts of self-kindness and start seeing it as a whole damn spectrum.

A self-care spectrum.

At one end, yes…you’ll find the short, sweet (and often needed) momentary gifts that you can give yourself. The manicure, the movie night, the afternoon tea….the BATH! But start travelling along the line and you’ll quickly start to see a whole world of needs-meeting options that will actually help you feel the shifts you really need.

Saying no rather than yes.

Holding a boundary that you’ve ignored for too long.

Recognising when you need help and DOING something about it - whatever form it needs to come in (a cleaner, baby sitter, admin lady, the company of a family member, child care, financial support, a chiropractor appointment…..the list goes on!)

Allowing yourself space to process difficult feelings.

Finding a community to support you on your journey.

Speaking your truths when you’d rather stay silent.

Exploring the narratives that are keeping you small.

Do you get the picture yet? We’ve been so disconnected from meeting our own needs, from hearing our own intuition, from embracing our own truths that we haven’t even questioned it when it failed to be mentioned in the ‘list’ of how to look after yourself.

Because these things cant be made into a pretty picture, or delivered as a sweet package or sold for a profit. They belong in the shadow with all the parts of you that need the very things they’ve failed to mention.

So, if there’s a part of you that’s been thinking, ‘hang on one holy hell of a minute….why am I still faffing at the hairdressers when I could be ACTUALLY doing something to reclaim my life?!’ You’re in the right place.

My work is an offering for women ready to reclaim everything. To stand in her power, to know her worth, to trust her intuition and to ensure her needs get met - hair appointments, boundaries, bubble baths and all! To do THIS work is the truest form of self care you will ever do.

Let me know if this resonates!

Kelly x

P.S -If you’re reading this shouting YES!!! At the screen, and you’re feeling pumped to get started right away, check out my FREE weekly guidance offering, Monday Medicine, below. It was absolutely MADE for you…